


Leave Us In The Dark

by madamecrimson



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: Angst, COVID, COVID-19, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, No Dialogue, Pandemics, Touch-Starved, Vaccines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:15:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28519980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamecrimson/pseuds/madamecrimson
Summary: Disclaimer: This fic is most likely not fully medically accurate.One shot.The whole Watcher team gets vaccinated a week before Ryan's roommates are able to get appointments. In order to keep up with their busy shooting schedule, and to ensure that they are taking every safety precaution possible, Ryan will be staying at Shane's for the week.This will be the first time they've hung out alone together since before the pandemic, and the first time they won't have to be six feet apart.The isolation of quarantine has been extremely hard on them both, and maybe they aren't thinking as clearly and carefully as they should be.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 7
Kudos: 75





	Leave Us In The Dark

The ride to the pharmacy had been full of lively conversation, the two of them talking excitedly about what they planned to do when businesses started opening again. It wasn't the first time they'd had this discussion, but now, hope was a little more tangible. 

The ride back to Shane's place, however, was silent. There was a gravity to the reality that Ryan could now clap Shane on the shoulder if he wanted to, sit next to him on the couch, exist in his space without the same caution there had been over the past who knew how many months. Ryan could feel its weight pressing into his shoulders and back, leaving him with a cold emptiness and a tug of want that he couldn't explain. Or at least, he didn't want to. 

He'd thought that the pandemic would have calmed down by the first time they were able to shoot together again, that he could give Shane a big hug and tell him how much he'd missed him. He'd known Shane would likely talk around his words, but the softened look in his eyes and the fondness in his voice would have been worth it. As it happened, they'd had to sit socially distanced from one another. It was a lot to deal with all at once. Seeing and hearing Shane in the flesh and not as a collection of pixels on the screen had nearly knocked him off his feet. But sitting so far apart from him had been...weird. It's not as though they had ever been particularly affectionate with one another, but they normally sat very close together, close enough for their shoulders to brush, for the lines of their thighs to press up against one another. It was something that had been so ingrained into their dynamic that it often went unnoticed by both of them. 

But its absence had been incredibly noticeable.

And now, as they ascend the stairs to Shane's apartment, it feels like an entirely new reunion altogether. 

They step inside Shane's apartment and Shane shuts the door behind them, turning around to face Ryan. 

Ryan feels his breath stutter in his throat as his heart begins to race, his resolve crumbling and turning to dust at their feet as he throws his arms around Shane.

He's not entirely sure what he was expecting Shane's reaction to be, but it wasn't returning Ryan's hug with just as much intensity behind it. 

They sway a little and Ryan blinks rapidly to stop the wetness appearing at the corners of his eyes. "Missed you big guy," Ryan tells him. 

Shane doesn't say anything back, but Ryan feels Shane rest his cheek against the top of his head and somehow that's enough. 

Ryan tries to quiet his breathing so that it isn't obvious that he's inhaling Shane's scent, and something inside him breaks at how familiar it is to him. He'd been scared he might forget. 

Ryan tucks his head against Shane's shoulder, and his lips accidentally brush against the skin of Shane's neck in the process. 

They both freeze. 

Ryan can hear his heart pounding in his ears as he waits for Shane to inevitably pull away, and he wracks his brain for how he can play this off. 

But Shane doesn't pull away. 

Emboldened, Ryan brushes his lips against Shane's neck again, deliberately this time, and briefly lets them linger. 

His brain is on the verge of spiraling into a black hole of regret and anxiety when he feels Shane's fingers running through the hair at the back of his head. 

And then, it's like his heart is a grenade and Shane's just pulled the pin. 

Ryan presses Shane up against the front door, kissing desperately at his neck. Shane gasps and tilts his head to the side, offering his neck up to Ryan. 

Ryan can't help the growl that escapes him as he mouths along Shane's neck, the soft sounds falling from Shane's lips going straight to his cock. He lightly nips at the skin, before biting down more harshly than he means to and suckling roughly. Shane's hand tightens in Ryan's hair, trying to pull him closer, as if he really could with Ryan latched onto him like that. Ryan soothes the wine colored bruise with his tongue and Shane is shaking in his arms. They somehow manage to stumble over to the couch, neither willing to let go of the other long enough to take their clothes off. 

Shane plops down on the couch, yanking Ryan into his lap, and Ryan feels dizzy at the realization of how strong Shane actually is. Shane cradles Ryan's head in his hands and kisses him roughly. His tongue lightly grazes Ryan's bottom lip and Ryan opens his mouth for him only seconds later. Shane's tongue is hot and wet against his own, and his hands scramble to find a place to rest on Shane's back. Shane's fingers begin to explore under Ryan's shirt, burning and branding his skin. Ryan moans into Shane's mouth, his breath hitching as he feels Shane's palms skim over his nipples. He's so desperate to feel it again that he literally grabs Shane's wrists and places Shane's hands back against his chest. 

Shane lightly pinches Ryan's nipples, rolling the hardened nubs along his thumbs. Ryan squirms in Shane's lap, pressing up into his touch like he can't get enough. Shane rolls his hips and Ryan can feel how hard Shane has become beneath him, how hard they both are. He grinds against Shane's lap, kissing Shane like he's the very air Ryan needs to breathe. His fingers tangle in Shane's hair and tug, and Ryan feels the groan that that elicits from Shane run through his whole body and sneak under his skin. They're rutting against each other like horny teenagers who don't know what the hell they're doing, and Ryan's never been with a guy so technically he doesn't. 

But it's hot and close and wonderful and _Shane_ , and somehow perfect in its imperfection. Ryan comes apart first, entirely overwhelmed, and Shane's not far behind him. 

They sag against each other, panting and exhausted, just staying like that for a few moments until they manage to catch their breaths. 

They pick their clothes up off the floor and shower separately. Shane orders take out and Ryan sets up a movie for them to watch. They sit close together on Shane's couch, just like they used to, and easily fall back into their normal banter. 

It's almost as if nothing's changed between them. 

It gets to be late and they both decide to retire for the night. Shane mumbles some excuse about a faulty spring in the couch, even though they were sitting on it literally moments before with no issue. Ryan realizes Shane intends for them both to sleep in Shane's bed. It's not as if they haven't shared a bed before. 

They both ease under the covers, the same as if they'd been on an Unsolved shoot, but without either of them sliding towards the edge of their own side in an effort not to touch the other. 

Neither of them say anything. 

As Ryan hears the telltale signs of Shane drifting off to sleep, he stares up at the ceiling. 

He wonders if this is how things will be for them from now on, bonded together, attached at the soul, and simply never talking about it. 

An ache emerges in Ryan's chest as he tries not to think about the fact that this how things have always been, just without the physical manifestation of it. Until now anyway. 

Maybe Ryan will start staying at Shane's more often, bringing stuff from his apartment until there's nothing left, but they'll never call each other "roommates." 

Maybe they'll buy a house with a soundproof den for Shane to read his history books and listen to his hipster records, and a home gym where Ryan can work out and play basketball, but never claim that they "live together." 

Hell, maybe one day they'll even get legally wed, just for insurance reasons of course, but never say that they're "married." 

If they don't put a name to it, then there's nothing to feel obligated towards, nothing to be afraid of losing, nothing to need so badly that they couldn't live without it. 

As Ryan feels his eyelids begin to grow heavy, he resolves that he'd rather spend an eternity in darkness with Shane, than one more second without him in the light.


End file.
